A Fistful of Dreams Read online

  He squirmed under her regard, but she was far from angry. It was actually very sweet. “I’m sorry about what my song did to you.” If she told him nothing else ever again, she wanted him to know that. The wind picked up outside, howling around the corners of the barn. Jason rose and added more wood to the fireplace before collecting Buck’s bowl.

  Pausing in front of her, the telepath frowned. “You need to eat.”

  “I’m not really hungry.” The feeble protest didn’t quite cover her lack of appetite or the uneasy state of her roiling stomach. She wasn’t sure she could eat. Fear crackled along her spine and churned her gut.

  “Jason’s right.” Buck’s mouth twisted on the words. He really didn’t like Jason Kane or seeming to agree with him. “You need to eat. We could be here for a few days and it’s going to get cold and you’re going to be working. You need your strength.”

  A few days? She swallowed. “Alone? The three of us?”

  “Don’t worry about your reputation. Everyone who knows you’re here with us, also knows why we’re here and no one else matters.” Jason pointed to her food. “Eat.”

  Alone. For days. With two men and no chaperone. It didn’t matter what people knew—she knew some weren’t keen on where Kid found her. Adding this to the list…

  “Delilah, it’s okay.” Buck laid a hand on her arm. Tingles radiated through her. “No one is going to worry about what we were doing. We discussed this at length. We needed isolation where no one can trip over us or become—”

  “—or hear me and become entrapped.” Yes, that did make sense. Didn’t make it any more palatable though.

  “Exactly. So eat.” Buck and Jason shared a long look before Jason took their bowls and disappeared around the hay.

  Spooning a mouthful of the stew, she barely tasted it. Her stomach rebelled at the idea of eating, but she forced another bite. “Can I tell you something?”

  “Anything.” Buck leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “And I mean it, you can tell me anything.”

  “I missed you when you stopped coming into my dreams. I didn’t realize it was you and…and I liked being able to talk to you.” Admitting it out loud turned out to be far easier than she suspected.

  “Yes?” A smile curved the word and she kept her gaze firmly on the stew.

  “Yes. It may sound funny, but the only person who ever really just chatted with me was Antonia. I know—I know most of you didn’t think much of her. She should never have lied about the baby, but she was afraid and she really wanted a place to bring her baby up safely.” Tears misted her vision. “I miss her. I miss the chatter. She didn’t get angry when I didn’t talk or push me. She talked to me about the most ridiculous things and now she’s gone.”

  He squeezed her arm gently. Looking up, she found sympathy in his gaze. “You’re right, we didn’t think about that, and I am sorry for your loss. She did seem a good friend to you.”

  “She was. She didn’t have to protect me at Fort Courage, but she always did. She would draw the men away, give them herself to look at—she even did it with Kid.” Her carnal education was far beyond what she ever wanted to know. She couldn’t have missed what happened in the saloon if she’d tried. Antonia often took on the men who expressed too much interest in Delilah and somehow, she came out of the situation intact. It could have been so much worse. “She didn’t deserve to get sick and die. It’s my fault.”

  “No it’s not.” Stern and firm, his statement demanded her attention. “It wasn’t. The fault was Harrison Miller’s and his wicked band. They infected our people, not you.”

  “But…” She frowned and pushed aside the bowl of food. “She wouldn’t have been here if not for me.”

  “No and her son wouldn’t have the home she wanted for him, either.” He slid his hand down and covered hers. The contact gave her comfort. “Delilah, life isn’t kind. I think you know that. I’m sorry you miss her…I wish—I should have realized it sooner. We’ve all been preoccupied with our grief and our concerns, I didn’t think about yours.”

  “It’s okay. The babies, the children, the ranch…there’s so much to be done.”

  “Just because we don’t have time for our sorrow, doesn’t mean we can afford to ignore it.” Oddly enough, the sentiment made her feel better than all the sympathy in the world. “And I am glad she was a good friend to you.”

  Her only friend, except for Buck. She hoped they were friends.

  “You don’t count me as a friend?” Jason rejoined them carrying three steaming mugs. He passed them around.

  “You have been very kind to me,” she didn’t defend her thought. “But I don’t know why. Of everyone, you knew what I could do and you told me you helped me rather than shoot me.”

  “Shoot her?” Buck’s voice dipped dangerously low.

  “I said I didn’t want to shoot you,” Jason dragged one of the hay bales over to sit opposite them, his back to the fire. “And I wouldn’t have. You could be saved.”

  Unease stirred through her.

  “How many Fevered have you shot, Jason?” Buck shared her sentiment. His gaze fixed on the other man.

  “It isn’t about shooting Fevered. It’s about protecting everyone from dangerous people, like Miller and his ilk.”

  It was easy to forget Jason suffered at their hands. He’d been a captive for weeks and no one knew.

  “So why would you threaten to shoot her?” Something dark and dangerous slid beneath Buck’s words.

  She had to defuse this. Jason hadn’t hurt her. “He didn’t shoot me, Buck—”

  “And I needed to get her attention to the seriousness of the situation.” Neither man looked away from the other.

  “Well, we only have your word on the matter and since you didn’t help her…”

  “Stop. Please.” She dared to raise her voice. It worked. Both looked at her. “He did help me, Buck. But not as much as he could have because I didn’t let him. I wasn’t sure, I’m still not sure, my song didn’t affect him. He gave me tickets and instructions, but I couldn’t read them—” It was harder to admit it out loud to Buck than it had been to Jason. “So I showed them to someone at the depot. They directed me to a train, but I stayed on too long and it cost more money and then I was stuck and I didn’t know where else to go.”

  Shame crawled through her and the tears she held at bay threatened. The hot drink she held couldn’t warm the core of her misery. “I was out of money and options, so I entrapped a man into helping me. He took me further west than I’d ever been. But his devotion was almost too much for me to bear so I let him and then…” Exhaling noisily, she kept her gaze down. She didn’t want to see the rebuke or recrimination on their faces. “I couldn’t do it anymore. When I tried to sing him free, he—he did not take it well. That’s how I ended up at Fort Courage. My fault, not Jason’s.”

  Silence draped the two men and she finally looked up to find their tight expressions focused on her. Buck’s softened first. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

  “I should have realized you couldn’t trust my motivations. I should have worked harder for you.” Jason apologized.

  “It wasn’t your fault—” How many ways could she say this?

  “Right or wrong, Delilah, I knew how the world worked and I knew how innocent you were in all of this. I didn’t look deep enough or press hard enough. I assumed you took the money and the tickets and fled. It never occurred to me you would need more help…and it should have. When I realized they were on to me, I went East because I sent you west. I thought to draw them off…”

  “And you got caught.” Realization stabbed through her. She’d seen Jason when they brought him home. He’d been beaten within an inch of his life, face crisscrossed with cuts and thick bruises, wrists nearly blackened from the ties they used to bind him.

  “Yes, not your fault either.” He gave her the barest of smiles. “I decided to turn the tables on them. Follow them while they tried to track me. It worked for a whi
le. Then I met Jo.”

  “And you sent her here.” Buck studied the other man. “Because of what her husband was doing to her.”

  “Yes.” Jason nodded once. “Miller figured it out, too. So if you want to blame anyone for this mess, Buck’s right. It is my fault. I’m going to get more wood.” They didn’t need more wood, but Jason left them anyway.

  “He’s wrong.” Delilah whispered.

  “Yes.” Buck sighed. “Hell…stay here.” He squeezed her hand and left her to follow after Jason.

  It surprised Jason when Buck walked out from the privacy of the hay, leaving the siren behind to come and talk to him. He retreated to the other side of the barn and the opposite fireplace—ostensibly to tend it. They would have to feed the fires all night to keep the winter chill out. He didn’t mind the cold, but his two companions wouldn’t appreciate the freezing temperatures.

  “You should keep her talking. She’s relaxing, which is what we need.” Pre-empting whatever platitude Buck wanted to open with probably wasn’t polite, but Jason didn’t feel particularly polite at the moment.

  “And she’s concerned about you blaming yourself.” Despite his active dislike, Buck’s thoughts mirrored his tone. Jason withdrew the automatic mental check. He’d gotten too used to the surface scans of everyone around him—he was knee jerk checking for ulterior motives. With the exception of the dreamed attack, the dreamwalker did nothing to deserve such cavalier treatment.

  “Delilah is a sweet, if utterly naïve and foolish, girl. She wasn’t aware of the consequences. I was. I knew what I was taking her away from and how far they would go to get her back.” Turning around, he met Buck’s gaze levelly. “But Miller and his men didn’t take me to get her or Jo. Getting Jo back was only a sidebar for him, a point of pride. That wasn’t his mission.”

  He didn’t need his mind reading abilities to see the surprise in Buck’s gaze or the consternation in his frown. “Then why did they take you?”

  “This.” He gave a sweeping motion. “The Flying K. They wanted access to it, likely because all of you are here now, but I think they also know about Kid. It wasn’t in Miller’s mind or his men’s and I never could get a good read on Adam. But I think he knows the Fevered can’t cross our borders without us and he wants Pa’s money and investments. It’s a piece of the chain.”

  Folding his arms across his chest, Buck bowed his head as though considering the words. “So, whether you helped the women or not, they were hunting you.”

  “Yes.”

  “You couldn’t keep them with you because it would have put them in even more danger.”

  The man was quick; he’d give him that. “Yes.”

  “I don’t know whether to be impressed or call you an idiot.” Buck frowned at him. “If you told us this, we wouldn’t have lashed out at you.”

  “It wasn’t important at the time and it leads to more concerns, such as why do they want on the ranch?”

  “What a big pile of manure. It means your father might find out and order you to stay on the ranch. It means if your brothers find out, you’ll have one of them with you at all times.” Yes, the dreamwalker was definitely quick.

  “That, too.” Jason spared a smile. “And it would all be a mistake. I am the one most equipped to handle them.”

  “Yes, the beating you took showed you handled it well. Did you cut their knuckles up on your face?” The wry rebuke in his expression faded. “Why are you going after them?”

  “Because I can…because I don’t agree with what they are doing. Because most of the time I can see them coming before they know I’m there.” He had no idea why he confided all of this in Buck. The man didn’t like him much less trust him. “And because the first time I went back East they tried to recruit me. It started subtle…”

  “It didn’t stay subtle though. Who is this Adam MacPherson person?” Impatience stretched through the words, but Jason could appreciate the frustration.

  “He’s a brilliant, dangerous, greedy man with plans…plans to put his people into power and his stamp on everything. He thrives on control, but it’s insidious. He doesn’t need to be out in front. He prefers to keep a quiet, but devoted following close and everyone else under his heel.” The man baffled him, he accumulated power the way some people accumulated things. He never quite seemed satisfied. And he lacked any kind of moral compass whatsoever, which terrified Jason more than anything.

  “You’ve met him?”

  “Briefly and not directly. I’ve seen him, orat least the man I am fairly certain is him.” He avoided this particular conversation with his father and the colonel. Neither man would be pleased with him, but he knew what both would want. The Colonel would insist he get as close as he could and assassinate him. His father would want him as far away as possible. He couldn’t serve two masters and he’d yet to decide what he wanted to do. “Look, Buck? Go spend time with her. We need to continue building her trust. We don’t know how long this storm will last—”

  “You know if she was working her captivation on me, I wouldn’t have left her.”

  Amused by the certainty, Jason couldn’t help but puncture it. “Unless her concern for me overrode you and she sent you here.”

  Buck frowned.

  “I’m kidding. Well, half kidding. She hasn’t tried to influence you. If anything, she’s focused half of her thoughts on keeping the control out of her voice.”

  “So she can do it. Control her ability.” Pleasure filled his tone and his mouth stretched into a grin.

  “Maybe. I think she can. I don’t think she understands how to do it unless she’s consciously thinking about it. That won’t do her any good when she gets tired or upset…” He sighed and rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. His head still ached from the moment when she matched her pitch perfectly to how he blocked out all the thoughts around him. For a split second, every mind on the ranch filled his head with its chatter. If he closed his eyes and concentrated, he could still hear the voices.

  Ice froze his blood and it took everything in him not strike out and take control of her mind—freeze her blood and stop her heart. Precarious seconds when his need to survive overwhelmed his desire to protect her. She was so like Olivia—as fragile, and nearly as beautiful. He pushed the thought away impatiently.

  Buck glanced back toward the stack of hay bales hiding her from their view. “We can do this, can’t we?”

  “I believe we can. I don’t know how swiftly. The first step is trust. Because we’re going to have to be in her mind, I have to see how she does it.” He studied her at the two performances he’d witnessed, but from a distance and he didn’t dig deep into her psyche because he wasn’t sure she couldn’t influence him if he went that deep; hence, he needed her focused on Buck. The distraction could only help.

  “You care about her.” It wasn’t a question.

  “So do you.” Jason didn’t deny it. He had no intentions of baiting the dreamwalker. He’d been wearing his feelings on his sleeve for quite some time. Even if Jason had been unaware, he didn’t imagine the man’s violent reaction to his presence in her dream.

  “What are your intentions?” The demand came out on a hard breath.

  “To help her. What are yours?” He shouldn’t rise to this bait. They needed to work together. Neither one could do it on their own, no matter how much the dreamwalker might wish otherwise.

  “To help her first and foremost. She deserves a better life than she’s had.”

  “Agreed. It’s going to take both of us, Buck. She has to trust us and we have to trust each other.” Could he do that? Could Buck? If they didn’t, this whole experiment would be for naught.

  The Indian looked over his shoulder again and Jason left his thoughts alone. He could listen to them, say all the things Buck needed to hear, and control the situation, but it wouldn’t help them in the long run. The trust and the agreement needed to be true.

  “I want what’s best for her. I’d make a deal with Coyote if I had to.
”

  “Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” The corner of Jason’s mouth quirked. “And to that end, there’s probably one other thing you really need to know.”

  Buck swung around to stare at him. “And that is?”

  “Adam MacPherson is the man she calls Father.”

  Chapter 11

  Sleep eluded her. They talked for what felt like hours until only the firelight crowded the shadows away. They created a bed of the hay, draped it in blankets. Jason took the spot the furthest from the fire while she sandwiched between the two men. She couldn’t get comfortable. Aware that all she had to do was reach an arm out in either direction had her huddling with her arms folded. Jason and Buck didn’t seem worried about the impropriety of it all, but she didn’t have the luxury to make excuses.

  Alone and isolated in a barn away from any prying eyes—Father would have an apoplexy. She could begin to imagine what Scarlett or the other ladies would think. Yes, she’d lived in the rooms above the saloon, more often as not sleeping on the floor in Antonia’s room. The other woman hadn’t allow her male clients to sleep with her, often kicking them out after they had their fill.

  The blanket didn’t provide much of a cushion against the hay poking at her back. Whatever discussion went on between the men, neither shared it with her when they returned. Instead, they talked of the ranch, the kids, and even different theories for training. They never mentioned her gift specifically and it exhausted her trying to keep her voice even, direct, and the compulsion away. A sore ache invaded her head and her throat was raw. She talked more in the last few hours than she had the last few months.

  Movement to her left and she turned her head. Buck lay on his side, his back to the fire. She couldn’t quite see his face, but she could feel his gaze on her. “You can go to sleep,” he murmured. “We’re pretty safe right now.”