A Fistful of Dreams Read online

  “Good.” Scarlett laughed. “Steal her away. She needs to get out of the house.” The little mother gave Delilah a push and, before she realized it, Buck had her arm and they were descending the steps. Buck paused and glanced at her.

  “Do you have pants you can wear or do you prefer to ride in a skirt—hrm—do you know how to ride a horse?” If she weren’t mistaken, red flushed his skin behind the bronze.

  Delilah bit back a laugh. He looked positively befuddled. She nodded once.

  “Is that to the pants, or the riding part?” Sweeping off his hat, he ran his fingers through the dark tumble of hair. It was straight, the color of midnight, and her fingers itched to stroke through it to see if it felt as soft as it looked.

  Tapping his arm, she pointed to her skirt and then back up the stairs. She could change. She knew how to ride, but she wasn’t very good at it. Most of her life had been spent shuffling from wagon to buckboard and back again. But the journey from Fort Courage to the Flying K taught her more about riding than she’d ever wanted to know—mostly it made her backside hurt.

  “Okay, you change and meet me out front. I picked out a sweet mare for you to ride.” She had made the top step when he called out. “And dress warm. If you don’t have a coat, you can wear mine until we swing by the cabin and find another.”

  She had a coat. She had a lot of clothes, actually. She’d inherited most of Antonia’s stuff and what she didn’t have before, Scarlett and Lena shared with her. She glanced down and nodded before hurrying to her room. Inside, doubt struck. Leaning her back against the door, she stared around the simple room. Strange how the ranch became her home so quickly—more than the house she lived in for most of her life.

  Maybe she should have told him no. Despite the nerves and doubts, her stomach plummeted at the idea of not going. Unbuttoning her skirt, she pushed away from the door and made swift work of changing. The britches were a little long, but she could roll up the cuffs and stuff them into her boots. She found a heavier riding coat. She was almost certain it belonged to Kid at some point—because the coat dwarfed her frame and was far too large for either Scarlett or Lena—but it was warm, the furred lining tucking the heat close to her.

  Two swipes of the brush through her hair and she pulled it back into an inelegant knot at the nape of her neck and wrapped a scarf around her ears. Sadly, she didn’t own a hat or gloves, but this would do. She hurried down the stairs.

  Buck stood outside in the cold next to two horses. His quick smile sent her pulse racing. Her cheeks ached with the sting of the breeze and the answering grin she wore.

  “Good, but you need gloves.” He dug into one of his packs and pulled out a pair. They were the color of a doe and nearly as soft as one. She tugged them on and wiggled her fingers until they were comfortable.

  He eyed her head and pulled off his own hat to tuck over her hair. It smelled like him, sunshine, leather, and a hint of wood smoke mixed with leather oil. It fell over her ears and threatened to block her eyes, but he tipped her chin up and adjusted the strap, his fingers brushing her cheek.

  “Better. Now you should be mostly warm.” His eyes crinkled at the corner. “Maybe I should have waited for a warmer day.” Laying her hand against his arm, she shook her head and gave him another smile. She wanted to go on this ride. Despite the nervous doubt upstairs, she was glad she hurried to change.

  “Okay. We’ll take the ride in stretches, but if you get too cold, you tell—hrm—let me know?” Disturbance rippled through his expression and he took a step back. Holding up his hand, he curved his fingers. “This is a C. You can use it for cold.”

  Delight filled her. She mirrored the hand gesture and Buck caught her hand, curving her thumb more.

  “Good.” He showed her another. “This is T. Use it for thirsty.” He went through a few more, rattling off what they meant. “Hungry, tired or rest, home, and Buck—me.” It took her a moment to master the simple gestures, but she managed. The last was the easiest of all. It involved simply pointing her finger at him. “I can teach you more. I should have thought of this sooner. You ready to ride?”

  Nodding slowly, excitement filtered through her nervous doubt. The signs were basic and rudimentary, but they allowed her to communicate with Buck and not worry about the cost to him. Elated, she accepted the leg up and swung into the saddle. He put the reins in her hand and rested his atop them. “Have you really had a chance to explore the ranch since you’ve been here?”

  She shook her head.

  “Good. I have a couple of surprises to show you.” He mounted and her mare swung around to follow his without any nudges from her. A tingle of awareness spread over the back of her neck and she glanced back at the house. Jason Kane stood framed by one of the upstairs windows. He gave her a small smile and she lifted a hand to wave at him. The horse picked up the pace and she leaned forward, to steady her balance as Buck led them down the path at a canter.

  They rode for the better part of an hour, ranging toward the hills. Thankfully, the constant cold wind diminished, but not even the sun could warm the chilly bite to the air itself. Their breath came in puffs of steam. Riding in silence, accompanied only by the cadence of the horses’ hooves against the hard earth, filled him with exhilaration. When he noticed the red discoloration to her cheeks, he turned the horses toward the caves. The stone canyon was deep within the lines of the Flying K, safe from outside Fevered who could not cross without the invitation of a Kane and farther still from the construction of the new fort. The Army would be moving out today, another good reason to take her for a ride. She avoided the military more than they did and he wanted to give her back the element of serenity they’d lost.

  “We’re going to rest the horses there. I brought food and we can build a fire.” Buck caught her reins and turned the horses up the path. It took them but a few minutes to make the climb. Inside the cave lip, he swung down and walked them inside and away from the chilling breeze.

  Helping her down, he was careful to not hold her too tightly. She was so much more delicate than he expected. She pressed her gloved hands to his chest and curled her fingers into the jacket keeping him close when he would have walked away. She tilted her chin up and gazed at him. A question echoed in her eyes.

  “It’s okay.” He covered her gloved fingers and gave them a light squeeze. “It’s cold and the horses need a break and so do you.”

  Her brow wrinkled with a frown and her mouth opened. His heart squeezed. Would she actually talk to him? He held his breath, waiting. She exhaled a sigh and nodded. She stepped away from him and walked slowly into the cave. Buck resisted the urge to kick himself and gritted his teeth. It should be easier to talk to her, but trust took time. He needed to win her trust and then she could confide in him whatever dark secret haunted her.

  Decided, he stripped the horses down and rubbed them dry. He pulled out light blankets from the back of the saddles and draped them over the horses to keep their muscles warm. Building a fire took little time. The brothers often added to the stores of firewood and supplies in these caves. They maintained them as a fallback, in case they needed to get away from the ranch or hide. They created boltholes across the ranch, more so now than ever before. If they had to face another incursion like Miller’s, it was better to be prepared.

  Delilah sat next to the fire, gloves off so she could warm her fingers. Joining her, he held out a canteen with water and pulled out the wrapped sandwiches he’d made in the kitchens. They ate in silence, much like they did everything.

  If you want to be in her dreams, you need to let her know what you are doing or you are abusing your gifts. Quanto hadn’t visited him more than to see if he was all right since Jason Kane interrupted their conversation, but he didn’t need Quanto to remind him of what the right thing to do was.

  “Delilah,” he sought a place to begin this conversation.

  I’m a dreamwalker and I’ve been spending the last few months visiting your dreams so I can get to know you. I know
you may not understand the Fevered, or what we do, but I don’t want to hurt you. I want to become intimate… He grimaced. Those words would hardly bring her comfort.

  She brushed her fingers against the side of his hand. Looking up, he found her staring at him, eyebrows lifted.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Which, in and of itself, was a question. But he ignored the obviousness of it.

  She pulled his hat off and nodded to him.

  He hesitated, but she had a right to know. “Do you know about the fever and those affected by it?”

  Paleness swallowed her color and she withdrew her touch. He would take that as a yes.

  “We’re not dangerous—” He grimaced again. “No, some are dangerous. But most are like you, looking after their family, seeking safety and livelihood.” He hated the wide-eyed look and the fear glimmering in her dark eyes. Catching her cold fingers he tried to warm her hand between his. “I promise you, none of us are going to hurt you. But you landed in the middle of a war. A war we didn’t seek and a war you need to understand.”

  She pulled her hand away and stood. He rose from his crouch to follow her, but she didn’t walk away. Instead, she stared out of the cave at the landscape beyond.

  “Delilah?”

  She turned slowly. Disturbance etched across her face and she chewed her lower lip. He pushed too fast. He was not good at this. His father had the gift to talk to people, as did most of the Kanes. Even Scarlett managed better than he.

  Delilah pointed to him.

  “Yes.” He could have added more, but it was better to be simple. “I wish you could talk. Then you could ask me the questions I see in your eyes.”

  She answered him only with a negative shake of her head.

  “Kid said you spoke when he met you in the New Mexico territory. Did something happen to prevent you from speaking now?”

  Folding her arms across her chest, she shook her head again and walked away from the fire.

  “It’s cold out there. Stay here next to the fire. I’ll—I’ll leave it alone,” he murmured. He shouldn’t have pushed her. Instead of listening, she walked further from the fire. Grabbing one of the blankets, he carried it toward her.

  She turned and held her hand up, palm outward. He stopped. “I want to give you the blanket against the wind.”

  The breeze from the cave entrance stirred her hair. Her cheeks reddened and she turned her back to him. “Please. Don’t follow.” Her words were the barest whisper and Buck froze in place.

  Was she actually speaking to him?

  “Yes.” It was almost too soft and he could hardly hear her.

  “You can talk.” Wonder edged in irritation filled him.

  “Of course I can talk.” She murmured. “I chose not to and I had my reasons.” Whatever they were, she continued to move away from him and she wouldn’t turn to look back.

  The sunlight dimmed beyond the cave opening. The promised storm arrived. Fat, white flakes of snow began to drift down.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you, but you have nothing to be afraid of, not with us. We will protect you.” I will protect you. The urge to go to her warred with his desire to keep her comfortable. She wanted him to stay away, so he should, but he couldn’t persuade her from a distance.

  “It’s not my safety I am concerned for.” The low-voice, the breathy whisper, sent tingles through him, but was her voice hoarse from lack of use or because she couldn’t talk any louder? He had to strain to hear her.

  “Then what were you afraid of?”

  Hoofbeats echoed below and he abandoned staying back to move to the cave mouth in front of her. Jason Kane rode into the canyon and Buck swore. The man didn’t slow, slipping off his horse and leading the mare up to the cave mouth.

  The snow continued to fall.

  “Following us?” He challenged the telepath. Maybe the man could get inside his head, but it would be hard with a blade shoved through his eye. No sooner did the thought take root than he let it go. He had no reason to kill the Kane brother, but the seething dislike flooding through him left him intoxicated by its very foreign nature.

  “No, following her and keeping you both from making a mistake.” Kane stared at him. “Let me in and I’ll answer your questions.” His gaze moved past Buck and it took force of effort to not block him from staring at her. The unreasonable nature of his temper didn’t make it any less potent.

  “What the hell is going on?” Buck’s head ached.

  “She’s enchanted you, even though she didn’t want to and has tried to avoid it. I have a feeling it is more to do with you walking in her dreams.”

  He winced at the blunt response and looked over his shoulder. He hadn’t gotten far enough to explain it to Delilah yet. She stared at him, regret and—and violation on her face. “I was getting to that part.”

  “My dreams?” She turned away. “It was really you in my dreams.” The bleak horror of those words filled him with guilt and he released the grip on his knife.

  “Yes, but I wanted to get to know you.” He withdrew, letting Jason lead his horse in.

  “And that is where you made an error. Delilah, he didn’t mean any harm and he couldn’t know, but you have to find a way to let him free.”

  “Let me free of what?” Hot on the heels of the guilt and the anger, exhaustion wracked him. Stumbling, Buck put a hand against the cave wall. None of this made any sense.

  “I can’t—I never figured out how to do it, and when I realized this was your family and your place, I kept quiet to keep them safe.” Despair harshened her tone and pulled Buck to his feet. He pushed Jason aside and got between them again.

  Jabbing a finger into Jason’s chest, he pushed the Kane son back. “Leave her alone.”

  “I am not going to hurt her. If anything, I’m the only one who can help her.” The words bit at him, daring him to believe he wasn’t helping Delilah. His knife flashed through the air and he pressed it to the Kane’s jugular.

  “Not another word. You’re scaring her.” Some part of his own mind acknowledged the actions were mad, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

  Jason raised his hands, gloved palms outward. Buck stared hard at him and froze. His muscles didn’t respond anymore. “Put the knife down.” His arm obeyed and the knife fell from his fingers. “Now sit down.”

  Buck walked away and sat down next to the fire. His mind rebelled against this. He didn’t want to sit. He wanted answers. How the hell was the telepath controlling him? Telepath—he fought against the mental constraint, but it seemed to have no effect.

  “Delilah, sing to him. He likely heard your song in the dreams. You told me that was the only place you allowed yourself to sing.”

  “But how could he be in my dreams?” She twisted her hands together, fidgeting.

  “Because he’s a dreamwalker. That’s his talent.” Jason sighed and jerked his hat off. “He didn’t mean any harm—what he said about wanting to know you is true. But you didn’t know he was there, which means…”

  The dark haired woman dropped to her knees in front of him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this.”

  Silence reigned and Delilah looked from Buck to Jason and back again. The air buzzed with energy, like a conversation he couldn’t hear. Was Jason in her mind? Was this how he could speak to her? Fury boiled in his blood and he fought to stand. Jason exhaled a hard, harsh breath.

  “He’s stronger than most. I can’t keep him like this. The angrier he gets, the more he wants to defend you. You’re going to have to sing to him, sing of his freedom. Let him go.”

  Her lips flattened into a thin line and she turned a pleading look back to Jason.

  “Remember what you did—the day you escaped?” The younger Kane knelt down next to her and rested a hand on her shoulder. Fury that Jason would even dare touch her burned in Buck’s gut. He fought to move the fingers on his left hand. His pinky twitched.

  Jason glanced at him and then at Delilah. “You can do this. I
believe in you. I saw what you did—I saw how you helped them. Now help him.”

  “What—what if I do more damage?”

  “You don’t want to hurt him.” Jason squeezed her shoulder. “And that is what you have to focus on.” He let go of her and the agitation surging in Buck’s blood retreated some. Delilah turned her attention to him and she gave him the most tender of smiles.

  She cupped his cheeks in her hands , her touch even softer than he imagined. Her gaze turned liquid and her voice wrapped around him. The song pulled at his very heart and quelled the fight in him. He could listen to her sing forever. Longing filled him, but it passed swiftly. Cold practicality smacked him in the face.

  The urge to kill Jason vanished and, as the last notes of her song faded, Buck jerked his head back. What the hell were they doing this far away from the ranch? Snow fell outside in fat, poofing white flakes. Delilah withdrew and circled away from him. Exhaustion drooped her shoulders and she sank down to sit.

  “Welcome back.” Jason crouched next him.

  The last few days filtered through Buck’s mind. Unreasonable hatred and rage towards a Kane, his frustration with everyone, and the single-minded desire to be with the woman sitting across the fire from him preoccupied every waking thought.

  “What the hell happened?”

  Jason smiled and patted his shoulder. “I’ll explain, but believe me when I say she meant no harm to you.”

  Staring across the fire at Delilah, Buck wished he could share the sentiment. He barely recognized his own actions. She dropped her gaze from his and a tear ran down her cheek. “What the hell is she?”

  Her wince cut at him, but the urge to comfort it and chase away the shadows was gone. Whatever she was—she was dangerous.

  “She’s Fevered, Buck. Just like us.”

  Chapter 5

  The gaze Buck pinned her with wasn’t friendly. Shivering, she huddled inside her coat and hoped the fire provided enough distance between them. What the hell is she? Not who, not what could she do, but what was she? The question burned her stomach and made her ill. Anger smoldered beneath her despair. Despite the care she took to avoid captivating any of her hosts by cutting off her own voice, Buck invaded her dreams. She dreamt of him often, so much so she continued to seek him out even amidst the disasters.