A Fistful of Dreams Read online

  “Running doesn’t make you safe. It makes you alone.” Instead of chiding her, Buck tucked her hand against his chest. The heat of him radiated across her palm and his heart beat a steady cadence beneath his shirt. “You don’t have to be alone. You just have to let me—” He hesitated and looked past her to Jason. “Let us help you.”

  Mirroring Buck, Jason pressed the hand he held against his own heart. “On our honor—give us the chance.”

  This was a bad decision.

  “Buck! Jason!” Sam’s voice drifted from beyond the cave. “What the hell are you idiots doing out here in a snowstorm?”

  “Convince her.” Jason abandoned them to walk to the cave mouth and meet his brother. Delilah bit her lip and refused to look at Buck, but even though she could hear the murmur of Jason and Sam speaking, Buck said nothing.

  Curiosity ate at her and she finally looked at him. Compassion shone in his eyes. “It’s not an easy choice. We have all had our dark moments, times when we thought we would lose ourselves to what we can do., but I have faith in you.”

  “You don’t even know me.” There lay the crux of it. Despite the days spent in his company and the long restive hours watching him work, they didn’t know each other.

  “But I want to know you. I want to help you.” The declaration loosened one of the icy shackles on her soul. Did she dare believe him?

  “What if it is the song talking?”

  He shrugged. “We can’t know until we try. I am willing.”

  “Buck—“ She hesitated. “The song—it can captivate and open the mind to suggestion. It controls people and some—some become so obsessed they are willing to kill for me. I’ve seen such awful things come of my talent—it’s not a gift. It’s a curse. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then you won’t.” How could he be so confident?

  “I don’t understand you.” She confessed.

  He considered her words, his gaze flicking to the cave mouth and then back to her. “Understanding takes time—like trust. Can you give me until the first foals come in the spring? Give us the time to tame your gift. If we cannot, then I give you my word I will take you wherever you wish to go and deliver you safely.”

  She longed to believe him, to share in his faith.

  “You cannot go in the snow, and it is too dangerous for you to be alone. Give me till spring, Delilah. I promise you, we can do this—together.”

  Boots crunching on snow echoed through the cave. Jason returned. “We need to head back. This storm is huge and it’s going to keep coming.”

  Delilah studied Buck and relented. She really didn’t want to have to leave. “Till spring.”

  He grinned and pressed a kiss to her hand. Rising, he helped her up. “Then let’s get back where it’s warm.”

  Sam appeared behind Jason and she swallowed her next words. Better to hold her tongue until they were all warned. They saddled the horses in silence and Buck helped her mount. The wind sucked all the heat from her and she shivered.

  Please don’t let this be a mistake.

  Chapter 6

  Cody shouldered the door closed after Jimmy. The two stacked their two armloads of wood next to the fireplace. Scarlett picked up two logs and added them to the fire. Sam and Micah sat at the table with Jason. The only Kane brother missing was Kid. He volunteered to stay with Jo and Mariska and keep an eye on the younglings. With the Army off the ranch, they’d brought the kids down out of the hills. The youngest of the littles were at the main house under the supervision of Miss Annabeth, Lena, and Jed.

  Buck leaned silently against the wall, arms folded. Noah mirrored him on the wall opposite him. Wind howled around the cabin. Comfortable enough for the four men who rarely all stayed there at the same time, eight people shrank the space around them. Scarlett fed the fire and heat bloomed in the room. She walked back toward the table. Micah began to stand and surrender his seat, but Sam wrapped an arm around his wife and pulled her onto his lap.

  A smile creased Buck’s lips and he glanced down. He had his doubts about the eldest Kane brother—particularly after venturing into her unfortunately intimate dream about the man. But none of her brothers could dispute the deep reservoir of love and affection he held for his wife. They were both present because Sam kept a cool head in the toughest of situations and Scarlett’s fire starting abilities were among the most unstable—and dangerous.

  “Okay, are we going to talk or simply sit here and stare at each other?” Micah broke the silence. He leaned his chair back, balancing on the two back legs. Like his older brother, Micah maintained a calm and easygoing demeanor. His discomfort with their abilities faded in the intervening months. His marriage to Jo was a solid one and he applied his skills as a trainer to helping the Fevered children feel more comfortable about their changes. The only real unknown in the room sat a couple of feet away from Buck.

  Jason Kane.

  Sitting on his own aggravation with the man, Buck fought for the serenity he spent a lifetime cultivating under his father’s tutelage. “Yes. We should start. We’ll cut right to the heart. Delilah is Fevered.”

  Sam and Micah both frowned. Clearly, they’d been unaware. If Cody or Jimmy were surprised, neither showed it.

  “How do you know?” Scarlett tipped her head and studied him. “She never says anything.”

  “Because her power lies in her voice. She sings and anyone who hears it falls under her spell. I don’t know whether it’s a devotion to her that makes you want to do anything for her or she can implant other ideas, but it’s the most enchantingly beautiful sound you’ll ever hear.” The admission left him mildly embarrassed, but he’d had time to think on his reactions. He went into her dreams because he liked her—because he wanted to know her better—not because of her song.

  The song made him want to go back.

  “So she sang for you?” Skepticism ruffled Cody’s expression. “Out of nowhere?”

  “No. She sang in her dreams.” Jimmy worked his knife against a piece of wood, whittling it into some shape only he could see. “Brother dreamwalker, there, was peeping.”

  Scowling, Buck bit back a retort. Hard to deny the truth.

  “Why would you spy on her?” Scarlett, however, had no problems taking him to task.

  “I wasn’t spying.” Buck ignored Cody’s nudge to Jimmy and Jimmy’s quick, amused grin. “I felt bad for her. She seemed very lonely, she wouldn’t talk, and we didn’t know what happened to her after Kid and Cody sent her on the journey from the New Mexico territory. So I wanted—I wanted to get to know her better. I thought maybe in her dreams…”

  “She would be more comfortable.” Surprisingly, Sam saw his side of it. “Not an unfair assessment. But if her voice is enchanting, I take it you’re under some kind of duress now?”

  The question brought everyone’s attention to him and Buck shook his head slowly. “Not anymore. When she realized what was happening, she did—something—sang me free? I’m not sure I entirely understand it. I will ask our father about it tonight after we talk.”

  “You’re sure you’re okay?” Scarlett’s censure shifted to concern.

  “I’m fine.” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Honestly, my feelings for her remain what they were—concern. I want to help her. I told her we would help her.”

  “Help her do what exactly?” Noah pushed away from the wall and walked to the fire. He motioned Jimmy out of the way and used a towel to pull the kettle off the hook. He took time to fix hot drinks for all of them. The wind continued to howl around the building.

  “Control her talent. She doesn’t talk because she’s protecting us from it. And before you ask,” Buck gave Jimmy a hard look. “She didn’t warn us because she wasn’t sure who she could trust and worried we would use her—”

  “Why would we use her?” Micah tugged his hat off and set it on the table. Rising he took the first two mugs from Noah and passed one to Scarlett and another to Sam. Between the two men, they delivered cof
fee to everyone in the room.

  Buck wrapped his hand around the sturdy mug and warmed his fingers. “Because, according to Jason, she was used as a weapon before.”

  Everyone swiveled their attention to the silent Kane.

  Sam set his mug down with a thump. “You knew?”

  “Yes.” Jason nodded once. “I met her in Philadelphia. I saw what she could do and I offered to help get her out.”

  “Great job.” Cody nodded. “Because a whore house is an improvement over the big city.”

  Sam ignored the wolf, his gaze hard on his younger brother. “Why the he—” He bit off the curse with a glance at his wife. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

  “Well, at first I had no idea she was here. And we were still recovering from the outbreak, and more than a little busy. She wasn’t doing anything wrong and she was determined to not use her gift on anyone. If she didn’t want to tell…”

  “No.” The marshal’s tone turned positively glacial. “It doesn’t matter if she wanted anyone to know or not. If her gift is that dangerous, you don’t let us go blindly along unaware of it. Who used her as a weapon? How do you know she isn’t one now? Hell, she looks after our children.”

  Scarlett covered Sam’s clenched fist with her hand. “She wouldn’t hurt them. No, I mean it. I’ve seen her with the babies. You can’t manufacture the affection she feels for them. She hums to them occasionally, but she doesn’t sing or talk. She wouldn’t hurt them, Sam.”

  “Sweetheart, I love you. But there are a lot of bad people in the world who look good and seem nice, but they are still dangerous.” His voice softened for her.

  She grinned. “And I’m one of them. But I know she wouldn’t hurt Molly or Cobb.”

  “How?”

  “The same way I knew you would never hurt me.”

  Sam bent his forehead to rest against his wife’s and Buck looked away. Jimmy smiled faintly and focused his attention on his whittling. They could afford to give the couple a modicum of privacy.

  “Jason still should have told us.” On this point, Sam didn’t bend.

  “Sam, we had our hands full and she’s not here to hurt anyone.” Jason’s confidence didn’t impress either of his brothers.

  “As we’ve all had to learn in recent months, little brother, intent doesn’t stop people from causing harm. Jo didn’t intend to bring Miller after us, either. Not everyone really cares about good intentions.” Micah sat down and faced his brother. “You didn’t intend to be caught by them either, but you were. Cobb definitely didn’t intend to die, but he made a choice to protect you. We all make choices in the heat of the moment, and we have to live with those. But it’s been months since the outbreak and we are getting back to normal. You should have told us.”

  “What would you have done? Been afraid of her? Turned her out?” Jason challenged.

  “No.” Cody’s voice was stiff, the yellow ring around his blue eyes darkening. “We would have helped her and not let her think she was alone.”

  Relief sagged through Buck. He never doubted his siblings, but it still made him feel better to hear it. They wouldn’t walk away from any Fevered—not if they could help.

  The telepath’s face tightened, but he refrained from further words and nodded.

  “Buck, I could have sworn she spoke when I was in New Mexico with Kid and I didn’t experience any sense of loving devotion.” The wolf wasn’t dismissing the idea, but rather toying with it.

  “She doesn’t do it all the time. She doesn’t have as much conscious control over it because those who used her didn’t want her to. They wanted her to enchant and open minds.” The tidbit from Jason drew attention back to him.

  “So you’ve heard her sing?” Jimmy didn’t look up from his whittling.

  “Twice. It doesn’t affect me.”

  Buck frowned. So he was susceptible to Delilah, but Jason wasn’t. Great. The nugget of information annoyed him all over again.

  “How do you know?” Noah drank his coffee, cradling the hot mug much the same way Buck did.

  “I’ve spent a number of years learning to block influence. I watched what her song did to everyone else. It didn’t touch me.” The younger Kane actually looked uncomfortable. The room went silent save for the crackling of the fire. Jimmy shifted to pick up another log and add it in with the rest.

  “Why would you have to block influence?” Puzzlement settled on Sam’s face.

  “Because he didn’t want Kid to affect him.” The wolf uttered the statement with complete certainty. He wasn’t wrong. The discomfort in Jason’s posture was the proof.

  “Wow.” Micah rose. “You’re a real bastard, Jason.”

  “Micah—” Sam raised a hand.

  “No. No one else has said it, Sam, but it bears saying.” Micah planted his hands on the table and leaned across to stare at their younger brother. “You’re a jackass. You spend years learning to block Kid and it never occurs to you to tell him he’s not alone or to let any of the rest of us in on it? No, you abandoned him.”

  Anger seethed under the words. Anger and no small amount of disappointment and hurt. Sam sighed, but he didn’t dispute Micah’s words and Jason didn’t defend himself.

  “Right or wrong, this argument doesn’t help Delilah.” Noah took on the role of peacemaker, a role Buck should have stepped up for, but frankly he wanted Jason to get a strip torn off his hide. Jason’s methods left a lot to be desired.

  “Agreed. What do we need to do?” Sam took the reins of the conversation back. He rubbed a hand up and down Scarlett’s spine, whether it was to soothe his wife or himself, Buck had no idea.

  “A damn good question. We’re still having problems with Billy and Shane.” Jimmy rolled his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

  “They’re kids,” Cody drummed his fingers against his knee. “They are still grieving the loss of their parents and they don’t want to cooperate, but they will. If we keep giving them the time and the attention.” It still amazed Buck how good Cody was with most of the children, save for Benjamin. But the young cat’s real fear of the wolf made it difficult. Still, with patience and determination, he had confidence the wolf would overcome the child’s more primal reluctance.

  “Delilah isn’t a child. If she wants to learn, we have to teach her.” Scarlett looked at the fire and the flames leaped higher. Even with her in the room and the press of so many bodies, the raging blizzard outside increased the chill. Jason shifted his chair further away from the table, his siblings, and the fire.

  Not so damn smug now, are you? Buck took some satisfaction in that.

  “No, she’s not a child. But who wants to volunteer to be the one she controls while she learns how to get a handle on it? And how do they even know when they aren’t controlled? It’s a volatile gift, little sister.” Cody eyed her. “We could put you out with a bucket of water.”

  Scarlett stuck her tongue at him and he grinned, snapping his teeth. The easy playfulness of their childhood returned since they were both happily mated to other people, another relief in the face of so many other issues.

  “Not to mention we still have an entire regiment of cavalry and engineers building a new fort, a town to reconstruct, children to train and keep safe, and a ranch to run.” Micah ticked the items off. “We can’t afford to be down any other people if she bespells someone and can’t break it.”

  “I’ll do it.” Buck volunteered. “I promised I would help her. She came back and agreed to give me until spring. We can start in a dreamscape. For the most part, I control that, so if I pull her into my dreams rather than go into hers, I can maintain it.”

  “Father could help there, too.” Scarlett liked the idea.

  “And be subject to the same control, which could all be a part of some elaborate plan to get at Quanto. We know he’s been a target. So no, not a good idea.” Sam didn’t share his wife’s belief.

  “Jason isn’t affected by her. Let him help.” Cody rose, stretching. Buck’s satisfac
tion at being able to do something for Delilah flattened at the words.

  “I don’t trust him.” The hell with being nice about it.

  Cody shrugged. “Neither do I. If she can’t bespell him, he can be a control and let you know when it does happen and get her to undo it.”

  “He is also sitting right here.” Jason pushed the words out through gritted teeth.

  “They’re aware, Jason. It’s not a bad idea, but it takes us down two people when we need everyone.” Sam frowned.

  “We’ll manage.” Micah shrugged. “We’re used to it. Jo can help move the animals, which frees most of us from wrangling. She can ask them to move. They all listen to her.” And he would get alone time with his wife; although, moving animals in the snowy weather would hardly be a treat.

  “Mariska and I can take care of the children in the meanwhile. Scarlett stay with the babies and work with the littlest littles. Noah and Sam can help there.”

  “I’ll take circuits with Kid.” Jimmy sat forward. “We can take them from one to three days, then swap out. It will be good for the kids and, if you two can get her under control fast, then we’ll be in better shape with another able body to helping with the work and teaching.”

  “The Duncans are back, and the Jenkins. They can take over homestead work around the barn and keep an eye on the animals here. We’ve got other families coming up from the southern cabins, moving in closer once we get new cabins up.” Micah rubbed his chin. “We’re going to have more help, soon.” Several families had been spared the fever, either by distance or design. Of those who remained, some moved, packing their wagons and leaving the property altogether, but most stayed. The Flying K was down over a hundred ranch hands and workers, but they would make it.

  “Then we have a plan.” Sam nudged Scarlett up. “We’re getting back to the house before this gets much worse.”

  “I can melt it.” Scarlett laughed. “If it gets too deep.”

  “I’ll go with you.” Cody walked into the back bedroom to strip. He’d shift and go in wolf form.