Marine Ever After (Always a Marine) Read online

  “So? He’s still the father. If anything, he can help you out. Financially. Emotionally. Something. You don’t have to go through this on your own. If he won’t step up, trust me, Luke can do….”

  “Becs, please? Let it go. I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll tell him. I know I have to at some point. But, right now, he’s overseas on a duty assignment. He can be redeployed at the whim of the Marine Corps. You forget, I grew up in this life. His life isn’t his own. Telling him simply means he learns about a baby he can’t see. I’m not going to move to be there or change my life for him. He shouldn’t have to change his life for me.” It sounded so rational and utterly cold. Their conversation halted while the waitress delivered their sandwiches and fries.

  “Yeah, no one should have to do anything, but maybe he’ll want to. Besides, you didn’t make a baby by yourself.”

  “But I’m okay with it. I want this baby.” Opening the ketchup bottle, she squeezed out a helping onto the plate. “I really do. I wasn’t, I never thought about being ready or making plans or even dating a guy for longer than fifteen minutes. But now that I am pregnant? I want the baby. I want the fun and the two a.m. feedings and the lack of sleep and the for-the-love-of-God conversations…I want it all.”

  “Okay, playing devil’s advocate here. What if he wants the same things? What then?”

  “I don’t know. But it’s not a conversation to have from thousands of miles apart. You know, we’re also assuming he even remembers my name.”

  “Oh, he remembers it.” Rebecca glanced at her plate, a flush staining her cheeks.

  “How do you know? You didn’t even know who he was.” Lillianna narrowed her eyes, studying her. “What do you know?”

  “I know one of Luke’s buddies asked for your phone number. Wouldn’t say why so I wouldn’t give it. Luke said he met you at the wedding and I was going to mention it and then completely forgot about it because of the expansion. So….” Guilt colored her tone. “He did want to get in touch with you. But I think maybe I got in the way.”

  “Oh.” Her stomach did another flip-flop. That changed everything. Didn’t it?

  “I’m sorry. Right up until this moment I’d forgotten about it and I shouldn’t have.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” Rebecca shook her head and took a bite of her sandwich. They ate in contemplative silence for several minutes. “Do you want his number?”

  Did she? She should. Theoretical rejection seemed easier to deal with than the real thing and nowhere near as terrifying as the possibility that he might want more. Lust kindled heat in her blood, and she squashed the lascivious thoughts. It wasn’t about his body or hers, it was about a baby.

  A baby they made.

  “Yeah, I do. And Becs? If anyone tells him, it has to be me. Don’t tell Luke or let Luke tell him.”

  “I won’t lie to Luke, but this is your news to tell the father. Luke will understand that. And if he doesn’t…well, I’ll deal with it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I love you, Lillianna. You were there for me and I’ll be there for you. In fact, I think I’m going to throw you the biggest, swankiest baby shower in the world.” And she would. Rebecca planned events for a living. “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”

  Chapter Seven

  Paul leaned back in the chair and studied the thrumming crowd in The Wall. Tuesday was the most popular night at the BDSM club—the equivalent of a Friday night in the states. But the weekend didn’t lack for creative culture or couples and singles getting their kink on. A public scene played out on the main stage and held some of the audience captive, but many made the rounds of the dance floor, headed upstairs for a quieter, private suite or like Paul, kicked back at a table and soaked up the atmosphere.

  Berlin served as home to a large number of the sexier clubs, unsurprising considering that prior to Hitler’s ascension, licentiousness made for common currency among the city’s vibrant nightlife. Paul had to wonder how long it took many of these underground clubs to flourish once the wall came down—in fact The Wall club featured an entire section built from the demolished stonework erected when the city was divided.

  The historical touch really added to the atmosphere. But most of it seemed lost on him. It was his fourth attempt to go out since arriving in the city, but what used to intrigue him merely left him cold.

  “You don’t look like you’re having a good time.” Kate Thompson slid into the chair next to him. A field medic with the Navy, she worked at the instructional center right alongside him. They offered key training to internal and external military on serving in the current hot zones. At five foot ten, curvy and muscled, Kate looked like a beautiful Amazon.

  And sadly, not his type.

  “I’m fine.” He topped off the statement with a swig of his beer, as if to show that he was having fun.

  “Uh huh.” Kate leaned on the table, chin propped on her hand. “I don’t believe you.”

  Sliding a sideways look at her, he sighed. She wore a plunging neckline black dress. It hugged every curve and did nothing to disguise the aroused state of her nipples. She toyed with her glass, tracing her finger around the rim. Suggestive, demure, with just a hint of submission—dammit, she was supposed to be his type. Four months with no word should be enough for his body to get over its interest in one woman.

  But no.

  “Not going to happen, Kate. Not tonight.” Not ever. But that was too harsh a dismissal. He should have been nicer about it, but in his experience it didn’t pay to toy with someone’s emotions. She made a subtle offer; he rejected it. Case closed.

  “Okay, but in all seriousness, some of us are worried about you.” She didn’t have to elaborate on who the ‘some of us’ were. Considering their relatively small community on base and at the school, those with a taste for the kink knew each other pretty damn well. His lack of interest or participation had been noticed.

  “Nothing to worry about. Seriously.”

  “And again, I don’t believe you.” She covered his hand with hers. “Friend to friend, what’s up?” All trace of sexual flirtation abandoned the conversation.

  “I met someone on my last leave.” And I can’t get her out of my head. If only I could get her on the damn phone.

  “Ahh. Okay.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “Understood. Disappointed, but I understand.”

  He and Kate never played before, so her reasons for being disappointed must be the missed opportunity. Past her, the sight of another Marine entering caught his attention. Excellent, David can distract her. “Looks like you won’t be disappointed for long. Go play with Sparks.”

  She grinned and abandoned him to his thoughts without a backward glance. Kate was good people, gorgeous and from what he understood—a very sweet and willing partner. But he hadn’t been able to scrub the sassy smile or playful wonder out of his mind. One night did not a long-term relationship make, but it definitely gave him an obsession.

  If he hadn’t already planned to head back to Texas the first chance he got, he would have to. He had to get the woman out of his mind. Particularly if she wasn’t interested in pursuing anything further while he served a few thousand miles away.

  He called Luke the week before, trying to fish for information, but the captain avoided answering any of his questions save for a cryptic, “Becca said she gave her your phone number.” The captain didn’t mention when or how long before, but his phone didn’t ring and he had no missed calls.

  Maybe I just suck it up and accept that it was a one-night thing for her.

  He hung out at the club for another hour, but the knot of tension between his shoulder blades wouldn’t relax. Kate and her guy were nowhere to be seen as were most of the regulars he knew on sight. Pausing at the bar to pay his tab, he left just before midnight. Back to his rack, grab some sleep and live to teach another day.

  ***

  His phone rang the moment he stepped into his apartment. The foreign nu
mber included a recognizable area code. Locking the door, he answered. “Torres.”

  “Hi.” Her voice whispered across the cell like a warm breeze.

  “Hey.” He smiled. “I owe you an apology, pretty lady. I wanted to take you out for breakfast and give you my number.”

  “I’m the one who left, so why would you be the one to apologize?” The intelligent challenge in her voice rubbed him like a caress.

  “True, but I find it wise to never ask a lady to apologize when I didn’t need to sleep so late.” Stripping off his jacket, he sat down on the sofa. “But if you want to apologize, I’ll let you.”

  Silence first, and then laughter and he smiled again. God, it was pathetic how great her voice sounded on the phone. “So have you missed me, Lily?” Because I missed you.

  “I wanted to leave you a note. But I didn’t see any pens or paper and…then I thought I would text myself from your phone, leave you a message that way, but I have a moral objection to going through other peoples’ things.”

  “There was a third option.” He leaned back and stretched his legs out. “You should have woken me up.”

  She sighed a long breath of air. “Yeah, but I was embracing my walk of shame and well…I had this feeling if I woke you up, I wouldn’t have been walking anywhere.”

  Desire fisted in his gut. “I would have done the right thing—kept you in bed until at least noon.”

  “Somehow, I believe you.” Despite the flirt in her voice, there was a subtext he couldn’t quite decipher.

  “Lily, what’s wrong?”

  Silence.

  He listened intently, trying to catch even a shift in her breathing. So many nuances in a conversation were conveyed through body language. The phone disguised those cues, but not her discomfort. She sounded awkward, almost embarrassed.

  “Why do you think something’s wrong?” The hesitation before the question told him he was on the right track.

  “You sound like something’s wrong. You’re not upset about having sex with me, are you?” He held his breath, hoping for no hesitation in her response.

  “No.” The immediacy of the rejection gratified him. “I mean—no, I was embarrassed that morning. More than a little. I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps around.”

  “Good to know.” Meant he didn’t have to chase anyone else off. Wishing, not for the first time she sat right in front of him and that they’d had this conversation the next morning, he said, “And another reason you should have woken me up. You’re beautiful, and you were beautiful that night.”

  “Tone down the lothario voice; it’s hard enough to have this conversation without you giving me the shivers.” Her voice quivered despite the stern note and Paul grinned.

  “Lothario? Am I seducing you now?”

  “You could seduce a rock.” But laughter drifted through the words, turning them into a compliment. “And you know it. No one is as charming as you are without having some awareness of it.”

  He conceded the point. “I have some time off coming and I planned to see my parents, but if I juggle the schedule, what do you think of me coming to Texas for a couple of days?”

  “Here?” Her voice squeaked and unease coiled up his spine.

  “Is that a problem?” He focused on listening.

  “I—when?” Okay, not the warmest of welcomings, but better than a not-a-chance-in-hell response.

  “Closer to the holidays. Lily. Tell me what’s wrong.” Maybe he was tired and reading the situation wrong, but he didn’t think so.

  “By holidays, you mean Thanksgiving or Christmas?”

  Does it matter? “I meant one or the other, yes, I’m waiting for my leave request to be approved. I asked for ten days. But I may get more, I may get less. It depends on my CO’s mood. Do you have a preference?”

  “Paul….”

  Here it comes. The rejection. He half-expected it, but he braced for it nonetheless. One night did not a relationship make, even if he wanted to drown in the sweet scent of her skin or longed to hear the soft sound of her cries again. And a rejection by phone was easier in some ways—it gave him a place to start when he went back for her.

  The thought coalesced fully formed. He wanted to pursue a relationship with her. Hell…. “Look, Lily—it’s just a visit. A chance to spend some time together, I want to see you again.” More silence and Paul pulled the phone away to make sure it still showed they were connected. “Lily? Still there?”

  The pause dragged out and took his patience along with it. “I’m here,” she said, finally. “And I’m pregnant.”

  September bled into October and blurred together. He spoke to Lily twice since she’d dropped the bombshell on him. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the idea of her pregnancy. He used a condom, he always did. The idea she made it up plagued him for all of two minutes, but he dismissed it. He didn’t imagine the unease in her voice or the cold start it gave him when she admitted the pregnancy.

  Five months and counting—and if that didn’t make it real, the picture from the sonogram did. They hadn’t been able to see girl or boy parts, the baby didn’t seem to be cooperating in that department. He’d avoided telling his parents so far. They would be thrilled at the news of their first grandchild—less thrilled that he hadn’t already offered to marry the mother-to-be.

  I did. First words out of my mouth and she shut me down so hard, I could feel the slap of that rejection as if she’d slammed the door in my face. Not that her rebuff diminished his resolve. His baby, his responsibility.

  But it wasn’t obligation that drove him.

  It was desire.

  For the first time in over a decade, he wished like hell he possessed a job that would allow him to drop everything and go home. He needed to see her. More than that, she needed to see him. But the instructional term didn’t wrap until the first of December. The earliest he’d get leave was the second week of December and his CO hadn’t confirmed the orders yet.

  Two months seemed like an eternity, particularly when Lily worked long hours at the hospital. With sleep at a premium and factoring in the time difference, their conversations were limited to days she had off. He stared at the numbers on his laptop, and sighed. If he juggled the finances, he could arrange a portion of his paycheck to go to her. He reported the pregnancy to his CO, who gave him congratulations and apologies—his current task rated critical. The Marines he trained needed the intel for the jobs they would be doing and he was the best man to teach it.

  Poor comfort in his current circumstance. He canted his head back and stared at the clock. She had a Saturday shift, and it would be after four Central time before she got home. It was nearly eleven in the evening in Germany. If her shift went as planned, she would be leaving the hospital and driving home. By his calculations, she had an eighteen-minute drive.

  So at least another thirty minutes before he could call. Shoving up from the sofa, he paced across the room. His commanding officer understood why he put in the request, he just couldn’t grant it. But three awkward conversations punctuated by stilted facts and no real answers were enough to make him crazy.

  Marrying her was the right thing to do. Every fiber in his being demanded he find a way to make it happen. But was it right because it was the right thing to do, or right because that’s what his parents did? Or right because he really wanted to marry her?

  His phone rang and he grabbed it, scowling at the number on the screen. It wasn’t Lily.

  “Captain.” He said in lieu of hello.

  “Hey, how you doing?”

  “Going a little stir-crazy.” Which put it mildly. Luke knew about the pregnancy. If Paul were a betting man, he’d say Luke knew before he had. But Paul wouldn’t give him a hard time about it. Loyalty to his wife had to come first.

  “I can imagine. Look—I saw Lily last night with Becca. I wanted you to know she looks healthy, happy, and huge.”

  Relief flowed through him, easing a fist of tension wrapped around his guts. “Yeah?�
��

  “Yeah. According to what she told Becca, she’s carrying all in the front. I have no idea what that actually means outside it looks like someone shoved a basketball up there.” His wry tone provided a hint of humor. “But she looks okay. I think she was pretty tired. She had a long shift. Her boss is supposed to be giving her easier hours off her feet, but the shifts are still long and she wears out easier.”

  “She can quit. I could send her money.” He wanted to send her money. Had tried to send her money. So far she hadn’t cashed a single one of his checks.

  “Yeah, I think you and I both know that’s not going to happen and I don’t know her very well. But she and Becca have been friends for years. Becca said she wouldn’t quit her job, she worked too hard to become a nurse and she loves what she does.” A hint of reprimand colored the words.

  “Be easier if I knew her better, sir.” A lot of things would be.

  “I imagine. When do you get leave?”

  “Not until the term is up here. Second week of December. My CO said he would try to find a replacement for me in January, but if he can’t….” Well, if not, then Paul would be back in Germany when his child was born. Two weeks didn’t give him near enough time to settle matters with Lillianna.

  “You want me to make some calls?”

  “No, sir. I’ll cope. I appreciate the offer. Just…keep looking after her? I don’t know what she needs, but if she needs anything….”

  “Hey, buck up, Marine. We got this. Becca will tell me when she needs anything, and we’ll get on it. She’s independent and feisty, and still doesn’t like me much.” The fact seemed to amuse Luke. “But we got this until you can get here.”