A Fistful of Dreams Read online

  “I can’t you tell you much.” Delilah’s slow, uneasy answer roused a protective urge within him. “I don’t think I ever really paid much attention to what he did, unless he needed me to travel. When my mother left, he fetched me to his home. It was a comfortable house near one of the great lakes, on the border to Canada.”

  Never having gone beyond the border of Texas, save for the trip to the territory of New Mexico late the summer before, Buck didn’t know much about Canada other than it was several weeks of journeying away.

  “He didn’t always live at the house, but I had two caretakers who stayed there—Miss Norma, and Mister Gus. Miss Norma was my nurse and my tutor. She was deaf, so I couldn’t hurt her—”

  “Affect her.” He corrected her automatically, ignoring the reproachful look his interruption gained from the others. Studying Delilah, he caught and held her gaze. “You don’t hurt people, you affect them.” She needed to embrace that concept, particularly in front of everyone else. Faith in self could overcome all adversity, or at least it was in his experience.

  “Miss Norma was deaf, so I couldn’t affect her.” She gave him a shy smile. “She lived in the main house with me. Mister Gus was our groundskeeper and he handled fetching supplies and such from the town. It’s a fairly small town, not even a train stop. When Father needed me to journey to the bigger cities, we had to take a wagon about sixty miles to Ashtabula. It had a train depot. We could take the trains to any point east.”

  “Okay so MacPherson didn’t live with you.” Jason stood and circled the three to set more water into the fire. “How much time did you spend with him?”

  “A few weeks, each year—he liked to keep me away to protect me from those who might hurt me and to protect others whom I might affect. Father believed in his work and he’s very passionate about it—”

  “I’m sorry. What did you do for him, exactly?” Mariska asked the question hovering in the back of Buck’s mind since he learned of Delilah’s ability and her connection to the man who employed Harrison Miller.

  “Father provides sanctuaries for Fevered throughout New England, and the northern territories, and at least one I know of in Canada. I went there once. Mostly they’re schools and little towns—kind of like what you’re building in Haven.” She seemed reluctant to make the comparison, but the information helped.

  “So he’s like Quanto?” Cody shared a skeptical look with Buck.

  “I don’t know about that. I don’t know your father.” Delilah coughed and drank more of the tea, but she seemed to have finished it. Mariska rose and claimed the cup from her. She shooed Jason away from the fireplace. Delilah chewed her lower lip and sighed. “He has a lot of Fevered who call him Father, who do work for him, and bring him the survivors they find…”

  Found? Or created? Buck kept the harsh question to himself. After what happened with the outbreak here, it wasn’t an unreasonable leap. Though none seemed eager to embrace the idea that MacPherson’s people wanted to create more Fevered by design. The death toll alone made it unthinkable as a tactic.

  Mariska carried a cup of tea back and busied herself at the fire. Cody rose and fetched wood. “Go on,” the gypsy encouraged Delilah. “I thought I would make a meal for you all. We brought down some chicken stew Jo made.”

  “There’s not much more to tell. The sanctuaries are expensive, so Father holds small fundraising activities in several of the bigger cities in the east. I would travel to two or three of them and sing. My job was to make them receptive to Father’s message and encourage their charity.” She bowed her head and refused to meet anyone’s gaze. Buck’s heart twisted for her. They used her to open hearts and minds.

  “What made you think what you were doing was wrong?” He focused on her, desperately wanting to understand the demons of her past. Her dreams didn’t provide him much more insight than she seemed deeply alone.

  When she didn’t answer immediately, he worried they pushed for too much. She took another long drink of the steaming tea and sighed. “A year before I met Jason, Father did something he’d never done before. He took me with him to New York. I’d never been to the harbor—it was filled with these great ships coming from across the sea. We waited for nearly a week, and I didn’t know what he waited on specifically. I am still not entirely sure what he waited on, but he pointed to one vessel as it sailed into the harbor—it flew under a British flag. He sent me down to sit at the end of the dock where they would begin the disembarkation and he wanted me to stand there and sing.”

  “Sing what?” Buck frowned.

  Shame and tears filled her eyes. “Sing for cooperation. He was at the other end of the dock, where he couldn’t hear me. I could see he and several of the men with him took the passengers aside and whispered to them. I don’t know what he said to them, but when it was time to go, he said I did a wonderful job and our new allies in Washington would benefit from our work.” She shook her head. “That’s when I knew what I was doing couldn’t be good. We were supposed to be hiding, staying safe, building sanctuaries where Fevered could be themselves and not live in fear. Why did we need allies in a government to do our bidding?”

  “Maybe they would keep the secret.” He didn’t believe the reason even as he offered it, but Delilah gave him a wan smile for the effort.

  “Afterwards, it was a lot of little things. He had a lot of written material for visitors, but I couldn’t read it and some of the Fevered, some of the people I knew to be Fevered, appeared at our rallies and he wanted me to open their minds to his suggestions as well, to make them more receptive. And he wanted me to target Jason specifically.”

  This part they knew. “Jason offered you a way out.”

  “Yes. Which brought me here, in a very long, roundabout fashion.”

  Here to me. Buck kept the thought to himself.

  “So you have no idea what his actual plans were?” Jason re-entered the conversation.

  “Not much more than that. They didn’t share it with me. I thought Father did good work and cared about our people. I knew he took money, he encouraged donations, but for a good cause. Now, I’m not so sure.” Uncertainty floated atop her unhappiness.

  “You’re not sharing everything.” Cody leaned forward. “What are you holding back?”

  Her knuckles were white against the tin cup. “I swear I didn’t know Harrison Miller was here—”

  Buck closed his eyes, grimacing internally. It took everything in him to bottle the anger crawling up his throat.

  “You knew him.” Cody’s statement came out hard and defensive.

  “Yes. I knew the others with him. I knew what they could do, but I didn’t know they were here. I spent my time trying to stay beneath everyone’s notice and—”

  “When?” The wolf rose and stared at her. Buck rose and positioned himself between his brother and Delilah.

  “Cody…”

  “I want to know when she knew.” He ignored Buck’s attempt to rebuff him and stalked forward. Buck planted a hand on Cody’s chest and gave him a push.

  “Leave her alone Cody.”

  “Cody.” Mariska didn’t rise. “She’s not our enemy.”

  “When did you know?” The wolf repeated the question.

  “When Mr. Kane shot Zachariah.” Delilah’s tremulous voice shook and tingles raced across his flesh. “I knew Zachariah, he was like Cate. That is when I knew.”

  Wood cracked in the fireplace and sparks showered down. Raw fury rippled across Cody’s expression and Buck braced for the rage.

  Chapter 16

  Delilah’s stomach cramped at the pure fury bleeding yellow through the wolf’s blue eyes. Buck tensed in front of her. Mariska stood just behind her mate, worry deepening the frown on her forehead. While Delilah couldn’t see Jason, she didn’t dare turn her head away from the wolf’s challenge. Was he about to kill her and end any potential threat?

  I don’t want to die. The thought sprang fully formed into her mind. Curling her fingers into her palms, she d
ug her nails in. She didn’t want to die, no matter how much she urged them in the last few days to let her go or end the potential of her threat. She wanted neither option any longer.

  Power tingled in her chest and spread like wildfire through her blood. Cody took a step toward her, only Buck’s hand on his chest halted his progress. “Leave her alone, Cody.”

  “You heard what she said.” The scowling wolf turned his ferocious glare on Buck.

  “I did. Did you? She didn’t know it was Miller and his men until she saw the behemoth at the house, which was after we fought them. After Miller was already dead. After the damage had been done. What was there to tell us then?” The tension in the barn expanded, sucking all of them into the standoff.

  “A lot. We are still hunting the one who got away. The one who could look like any of us…”

  “Enough. You’re not going to hurt her.” Buck shoved and one moment he was between them and the next, Cody had Buck’s arm twisted and his brother on the ground and nothing separated her from the wolf’s hot rage glaring at her.

  “Please, don’t hurt him.” She didn’t put any power into her voice, no matter how urgent the call in her blood. Swallowing around the lump in her throat, she bowed her head. “I should have said something, but I didn’t know how. I’m not a threat, not anymore.” Oddly enough, she believed it.

  “Why should we listen to you?” Cody shook off his wife and loomed over Delilah. She had no illusions about her chances for survival.

  “I have no compelling reason to offer in my defense that I haven’t already given you.” Or did she? “The one who got away, you said he could look like anyone?”

  “Yes.” Cody leaned closer and her nerves screamed. He might look like a man, but it would be a mistake to forget the wolf lurking beneath the surface.

  “I only knew of one with that ability. Father called him Ryan…” She tried to remember, they were at a gathering in Boston. Harrison Miller was there along with the Asian firestarter, Quon. A third man lurked behind them who rarely said anything. Father told him to stay when he sent the others off. “Pierce. Ryan Pierce.”

  “The name means nothing. What else can you tell me about him?”

  “Dammit Cody, let me go…” Buck strained against the twisting hold Cody maintained, but the wolf ignored him.

  “Nothing. I know what he could do but I never actually saw him do it and I have no idea how he does it or that he was here. But it actually makes sense…” She frowned, a vague recollection niggling at the back of her mind.

  “Why does it make sense?” Mariska wrapped one hand around Cody’s bicep. She leaned against her husband, but Delilah didn’t mistake it for interference.

  “Father didn’t trust Miller, not very much anyway. Ryan’s job was to watch him.”

  “Which means MacPherson trusts Ryan.” Jason broke his silence. “So what he learned here…”

  “If he went back to Father, he’s likely told him.” Disappointment crushed through her. She didn’t think Ryan knew she was here. She never went into Dorado after the Marshal escorted them onto the Flying K and Ryan couldn’t cross the borders without an invitation. So maybe her secret was safe, but not theirs.

  Cody released Buck and helped his brother up. He murmured something quietly and the objection in Buck’s expression relaxed. “You’re an ass, Cody.”

  The wolf snorted and the tension bubbling around them evaporated. The wolves settled back on the hearth. Mariska cast an apologetic glance her way, Jason looked amused, and Cody wore a satisfied expression. Bewildered, she looked up at Buck. His jaw remained tight with anger. “It was a test,” he barely seemed to move his mouth, almost grinding the words between his teeth.

  A test of what? Whether she would tell them the truth?

  “Of whether you would lash out at us if we threatened you.” Disapproval hovered in Mariska’s tone, but she wore a grudging smile. “We needed to know how far you’d come.”

  The urge to sing them calm had come over her. She’d gathered the power to do it automatically. It tingled through her blood and surged in her mind.

  “And you passed,” Buck scooted her over, taking a seat, which put him directly between the wolves and her. “Don’t do it again, Cody.”

  “Don’t need to do it again.” His brother drawled and leaned back, his eyes half-closed. “We have other problems and a name. May not do us any good to find the bastard, but we have it.”

  Confused, Delilah stayed out of the discussion. Jason chuckled. “Wolves are pretty direct about threats to their pack, Delilah. He needed to know you wouldn’t attack him or his brother. Particularly when Buck challenged him to leave you alone…”

  “I don’t like using it.” She repeated for the sake of the two who hadn’t spent the last four days there.

  “And that’s okay, too, little sister.” Cody yawned. “But if you need to use it to protect yourself or our family, you do it without hesitation or doubt.”

  Little sister? Our family? She froze.

  Buck wrapped an arm around her and grinned. “Yes, he said little sister and our family. Consider yourself officially adopted.”

  Confused emotions warred for dominance in her gut. She wanted to be accepted. She wanted a family.

  She might even be able to accept the wolf and Mariska as a brother and a sister. But not Buck? No, she didn’t want Buck as a brother and that dawning realization sent a fresh wave of nervousness through her.

  What do I want?

  A warm breeze drifted across the porch and the sun heated her skin. “You know, if you keep pulling me into your dreams, people will talk.”

  Buck laughed and the deep, masculine timbre embraced her. “The beauty of a dream is it’s utterly private. And there are three too many people in the barn to let us really talk.”

  The men discussed ranch duties, responsibilities, and the Army. Mariska offered a comment or two, but drew Delilah into a discussion about the kids. They needed more help with the younger ones and Cate made her preferences clear. Delilah went to sleep cuddling the surprised delight at being asked for her opinion—and the invitation to be more involved.

  “Thank you for standing up to your brother for me.” She never really found an appropriate moment to share her gratitude earlier.

  “Cody’s a hard guy to like sometimes. But he means well. And I will stand up to everyone for you.” His mouth curved into a smile and her heart twisted.

  “You shouldn’t say such things…”

  “Why not?” He studied her, his gaze cutting through her defenses. “I like you. I care about you. I protect what I care about. Get used to it.”

  “The others will think you’re doing it because of me.”

  “I am doing it because of you.” He rose and walked over to where she stood on the steps. “Do you honestly believe Cody would allow any of us to attack Mariska the way he went after you?”

  “Well, no. But she—”

  “She poisoned Kid the first time they met.” Taking her hand, he interlaced their fingers and walked. She had no choice but to go with him. “Cody followed Kid up into the mountains in New Mexico—which you know because you met them at Fort Courage.”

  She nodded. Butterflies danced among the wildflowers and the scent of fresh green grass filled her lungs. The air smelled of spring heat and ripe growth. It made her long for the real thing.

  “So they were riding for who knows how long when they come across a caravan being attacked by a war party. They defend the people in the caravan, and Cody saves Mariska’s life. Among their people, it’s cause for a celebration and they invited Cody and Kid to a meal. Sometime during the food serving, Mariska laced Cody and Kid’s drinks, or maybe it was their food—?” He waved a hand to send a bee away from her. The level of detail in his dreamscape made her forget it wasn’t real.

  “Anyway, she laced their food to send them to sleep. Her plan was they would sleep and the caravan would move out and everything would be fine. But her clan took exception to
her treating their guests in such a manner. When Cody woke up, he found Mariska lashed to a wagon wheel and Kid deeply ill—apparently someone else in her clan gave him something and the combination of the two left him deeply ill.”

  “Oh, how horrible.”

  “Exactly. So she poisons them, left them helpless, makes Kid horribly sick—not really the behavior of someone we trust to be around us all the time…”

  “That’s why he doesn’t let her cook.” She’d heard the jokes, but didn’t understand it.

  “Yes.” Buck laughed. “It’s a sore point with him, but I think it’s also something he does to tease her. It’s important to remember our mistakes so we don’t make them again.” He stopped and turned to face her. She tilted her head back and squinted against the sunlight haloing around his head. “But it’s also important to remember our mistakes are not criminal and they aren’t worth hating over. You learn and you live and you go on.”

  “He would defend though, if you did the same thing about the food?” It was a guess. One he rewarded with a simple nod.

  “She is his mate, his wife, he will protect her.” He seemed to be waiting for something, but she couldn’t quite believe he meant the same when he talked about her. Buck sighed. “Delilah, I care about you. I will protect you against any of them, and yes, I’m glad I don’t have to. Cody accepting you means it won’t be long before everyone else does. He was our most difficult hurdle.”

  “Our most difficult hurdle?” She pulled her hands out of his and retreated. She needed room to think and touching him was not conducive to thinking.

  “Yes.” He folded his arms and watched her, with the same small smile playing over his lips.

  “To my staying on the ranch?” He couldn’t possibly mean more than that. Could he? He kissed her and those kisses were wonderful, but…

  “Along with other things.” He tipped his head up and the sun lit up his features. He really was a beautiful man. The burnished tan of his skin seemed to just soak up the heat. He was savage and civil, sweet and…where was her mind going on all of this?